| [1950s movie music] |
| Stewie Griffin | I say! It's 4:00. Away with you! |
| Meg Griffin | Stewie! |
| Meg Griffin | Change it back! |
| Brian Griffin | Forget it. Jolly Farm Revue is on. |
| Brian Griffin | It's the latest pabulum for children with not enough to do. |
| Stewie Griffin | Hey! Shut up! |
| Mother Maggie | Wakey-wakey, children. |
| Children | Good morning, Mother Maggie. |
| Mother Maggie | The sun has risen on another day in Jolly Farm. |
| Mother Maggie | Let's see what life's rich pageant has in store for us. |
| Stewie Griffin | She has the voice of an angel! |
| Stewie Griffin | Not to mention a balcony you could do Shakespeare from. |
| Mother Maggie | Play your song, Melody Sheep, to aid the little ones' nourishment. |
| Mother Maggie | But play softly, for Pengrove Pig wishes to read aloud from his magic tome that holds every book ever written. |
| Pengrove Pig | "These were difficult times for the children of Ipswich... |
| Pengrove Pig | "...when the lollipop famine cursed their pleasant village. " |
| Brian Griffin | How can you stand watching this? It's dreck and you know it. |
| Brian Griffin | Don't have the guts to respond? |
| Brian Griffin | No intelligent defense of this unmitigated crap? |
| Peter Griffin | Commercial! I'm gonna get some graham crackers. |
| Moderator | Welcome back to KISS Forum Rhode Island Public Access' most popular show about KISS. |
| Peter Griffin | Lois, hurry! It's back on! |
| Lois Griffin | Calm down, Peter. You know I wouldn't miss a second of this. |
| Moderator | Okay, let's take a call. You're on KISS Forum. |
| Caller | KISS rules! |
| Moderator | Okay, good call. Good call. All right. |
| Moderator | You're on KISS Forum. |
| Caller 2 | Yeah. KISS sucks! |
| Moderator | Whoa! |
| Peter Griffin | Trace the call! |
| Caller 2 | CALLER 2: Yeah, they suck big time, man. They bite ass! |
| Moderator | Wait a sec. I recognize that voice. |
| Moderator | Is this Dennis De Young, lead singer from Styx? |
| Moderator | Come clean, man. |
| Dennis De Young | CALLER 2: Yeah, it's me. It's Dennis. |
| Moderator | Dennis, you jealous douche, how about I crank a little Detroit Rock City and play Come Sail Away and we can see how they stack up side by side? |
| Moderator | Huh? You want that, you high-voiced bastard? |
| Moderator | We'll be right back, after this. |
| ? | Didn't see you come in. |
| ? | We're getting into shape for our upcoming tour. |
| Gene Simmons | We're playing five big shows in five days. |
| Gene Simmons | So, if you... |
| ? | Rock and roll! |
| Gene Simmons | Why don't you just sit in the corner? Go on. |
| Gene Simmons | If you're a KISS fan, and you live in the Northeast come out for all five shows of what we're calling "KISS-Stock." |
| Peter Griffin | Hell! The Northeast! |
| Peter Griffin | It's times like this I curse the fact that we live in French Polynesia. |
| Lois Griffin | No, Peter, we're in the Northeast. |
| Peter Griffin | We are? |
| Peter Griffin | And KISS is coming to the Northeast. That means... |
| Peter Griffin | That means... |
| Peter Griffin | No, no, Lois! Don't help me! |
| Peter Griffin | It means we can do something. |
| Lois Griffin | Come on, Peter. You're almost there. |
| Peter Griffin | We can go to KISS-Stock! |
| Peter Griffin | PETER: Hey, yo, Lois! |
| Lois Griffin | What? |
| Peter Griffin | PETER: I'm packing and can't find my favorite underwear. |
| Lois Griffin | You mean the pair with the rip from when you stepped on them in that airplane bathroom from when you had the trots? |
| Peter Griffin | PETER: No, the pair with the hole from when I held it in for two hours because it was a long Palm Sunday sermon and blowing gas would offend Jesus, so I let it go in the vestibule after, and it sounded like Louis Armstrong? |
| Lois Griffin | Bottom drawer. |
| Mother Maggie | MAGGIE: Children, tell Mother Maggie what you want to be when you grow up. |
| Child 1 | A scientist. |
| Child 2 | A novelist. |
| Child 3 | A Cambridge don. |
| Stewie Griffin | What's my future coming from these squalid surroundings? |
| Stewie Griffin | Getting into a fight at the Laundromat with some dude who hit on my baby's mama? |
| Stewie Griffin | I should be there, not here! |
| Stewie Griffin | London. |
| Chris Griffin | CHRIS: Dad? Can me and Meg stay up late every night when you're at KISS-Stock? |
| Peter Griffin | You can do whatever you want, son. Just don't eat from the candy tree. |
| Candy Tree | He's right to caution you. I feed on children. |
| Brian Griffin | You don't mind watching Stewie for a few days, do you? |
| Brian Griffin | No. Ever since Jolly Farm Revue came on, he's been pretty distracted. |
| Brian Griffin | It'll be a breeze. |
| Peter Griffin | 'Bye, everyone. |
| Meg Griffin | I can't believe my stupid parents are gonna spend five days following stupid old KISS around. It's painful. |
| Peter Griffin | PETER: Not as much as a tire iron upside your head. |
| Meg Griffin | What? |
| Peter Griffin | I'll miss you. |
| Brian Griffin | Stewie, what do you want for lunch? |
| Stewie Griffin | STEWIE: Dear stupid dog, I've gone to live with the children on Jolly Farm. |
| Stewie Griffin | Good-bye forever, Stewie. |
| Stewie Griffin | P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. |
| Stewie Griffin | I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm over the 30-day return limit but I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. |
| Stewie Griffin | It's actually not a horrible sweater. |
| Stewie Griffin | It's just, I can't imagine when I would ever wear it. |
| Stewie Griffin | I also left a button on the bureau. |
| Stewie Griffin | I'm not sure what it goes to but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. |
| Stewie Griffin | I know as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to, and then it'II... |
| Stewie Griffin | Wait a minute. Could it have been from the sweater? |
| Stewie Griffin | Did that sweater have buttons? |
| Stewie Griffin | I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. |
| Stewie Griffin | Again, good-bye forever. |
| Stewie Griffin | P.P.S. It might be a little chilly in London. I'm actually going to take the sweater. |
| Brian Griffin | Oh, my God! |
| Stewie Griffin | One of these planes must be going to London. |
| Mother | Queue up, children. Here are the tickets, miss. |
| Mother | These are all ours. Thank you. |
| Stewie Griffin | Albert Hall, meat and two veg, Big Ben, Dave Clark Five Spam and eggs, a baby's arm holding an apple. |
| [Dramatic instrumental music] |
| Flight Attendant | Hot towel? |
| Stewie Griffin | Yes, thank you. |
| Stewie Griffin | Come on! What the hell are you doing here? |
| Brian Griffin | I'm taking you off this plane. |
| Stewie Griffin | Think again, Rover. |
| Brian Griffin | Great. I'm stuck on a trans-Atlantic flight with a petulant runaway. |
| Brian Griffin | How could this get any worse? |
| Comedian | You know what I hate about flying? |
| Comedian | The peanuts. First of all, you can't get them open. |
| Comedian | Who are they trying to keep out of these things? |
| Seinfeld | And what's the deal with the razor-blade slot in the bathroom? |
| Seinfeld | Are people actually shaving in there? |
| Andy Dick | Hi, Andy Dick here. |
| Andy Dick | Excuse me. I've got to get my bag up in the overhead bin here. |
| Andy Dick | [Yelling and laughing] |
| Andy Dick | Wow, that's wacky! |
| Stewie Griffin | That wasn't so bad, was it? Did you sleep at all? |
| Brian Griffin | Yeah, a little. |
| Stewie Griffin | I couldn't sleep a wink. |
| Stewie Griffin | My pillow smelled like farts. But that's all right, because we're in England. |
| [Middle Eastern instrumental music] |
| Stewie Griffin | I don't get it. Where are England's verdant fields its rosy-rumped maids, and buck-toothed solicitors? |
| Brian Griffin | About 3,000 miles that way. We're in the Middle East. |
| Stewie Griffin | Where are we going? |
| Brian Griffin | I don't know. |
| Brian Griffin | I'm not familiar with this particular Arabian village. |
| Vendor 1 | VENDOR: Stuff for sale! Bad, cheaply made stuff for sale! |
| Vendor 2 | VENDOR 2: Hey, Americans. You like movies? |
| Vendor 2 | I got Dude, My Car Is Not Where I Parked It, But, Praise Allah, We Are Not Hurt. |
| Vendor 3 | Camels for sale! |
| Vendor 3 | This one owned by a little old man who only drove it to mosque on Sundays. |
| Vendor 3 | Just had its knees replaced. |
| Stewie Griffin | Great. Buy one and let's get out of here. |
| Brian Griffin | What do you mean, buy one? All I've got is $50. |
| Brian Griffin | We're gonna have to distract him. Follow my lead. |
| Stewie & Brian | [Both singing] "You and I are so awfully different |
| Stewie & Brian | "Too awfully different to ever be pals" |
| Stewie Griffin | Do you want to go first? |
| Brian Griffin | Yeah, I'll go. |
| Brian Griffin | "Your favorite hero is the Marquis de Sade" |
| Stewie Griffin | You're one to talk. |
| Stewie Griffin | "You get a stiffie from Phylicia Rashad" |
| Brian Griffin | One time. |
| Stewie Griffin | "I've a style flair |
| Stewie Griffin | "Just look at my hip hair" |
| Brian Griffin | Yeah. That's quite a nice do there. |
| Stewie Griffin | Thanks. |
| Brian Griffin | For me to poop on! |
| Stewie Griffin | What? |
| Brian Griffin | You look like Charlie Brown. |
| Stewie Griffin | Bite me, Snoopy. |
| Stewie & Brian | "There's not a whole lot that we've got to agree on |
| Brian Griffin | "Cause I love the strains of a classical score |
| Stewie Griffin | "And I like that singer who looks like a whore" |
| Brian Griffin | Ricky Martin? |
| Stewie Griffin | Love him! |
| Stewie & Brian | "We're too different to ever be pals |
| Stewie & Brian | "You and I are |
| Vendors | "Doo-doo-doo |
| Stewie & Brian | "so awfully different |
| Vendors | "Doo-doo-doo |
| Stewie & Brian | "too awfully different |
| Vendors | "Doo-doo-doo |
| Stewie & Brian | "to ever be pals |
| Vendors | "Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo |
| Brian Griffin | "Your head's as massive as a meteorite" |
| Stewie Griffin | Very funny. |
| Stewie Griffin | "You have a weenie like a Christmas tree light |
| Brian Griffin | "I bet money you'll marry a honey |
| Brian Griffin | "who's pretty and funny and her name'll be Ted" |
| Stewie Griffin | A gay joke. |
| Brian Griffin | I just work with what you give me. |
| Stewie & Brian | "You might think we're in synch |
| Stewie & Brian | "But we stink as a duo |
| Brian Griffin | "'Cause you get a kick out of carnage and guts |
| Stewie Griffin | "And you get a kick out of stroking your..." |
| Brian Griffin | You can't say that on TV! |
| Stewie Griffin | Ego? |
| Brian Griffin | Never mind. |
| Stewie & Brian | "We're too different to ever be pals" |
| Brian Griffin | Oh, man! We're screwed. |
| Brian Griffin | We're lost in the desert, we have no food, no water and our camel is dead from exhaustion. |
| Stewie Griffin | And I had named him and given him a back-story. |
| Stewie Griffin | Chucky had the biggest hump of the camels in his village. |
| Stewie Griffin | He was picked on for it. But then there was a terrible drought and Chucky went to the oasis, because he was like that. |
| Stewie Griffin | He drank and drank, and stored enough water in his massive hump to slake the thirst of the entire... |
| Brian Griffin | Cut the maudlin crap. We're in trouble here. |
| Brian Griffin | It's below freezing, and it's getting colder. |
| Brian Griffin | We're gonna die unless we do something drastic. |
| Stewie Griffin | What? |
| Brian Griffin | We must slice open our camel's stomach and shelter ourselves in his entrails. |
| Stewie Griffin | Eviscerate Chucky? I won't do it! |
| Brian Griffin | Look, we're gonna die if we don't. |
| Stewie Griffin | All right. |
| Stewie Griffin | Oh, God! It's like Orson Welles' autopsy. |
| Brian Griffin | All right, just hold your breath and go. What are you doing? |
| Stewie Griffin | Wiping my feet. I don't want to track any sand inside. |
| Stewie Griffin | Once you get it in there, you can't get it out. |
| Stewie Griffin | STEWIE: Oh, God! I just threw up in his lung! |
| Brian Griffin | I know it's gross, but when you're desperate and you stare at death, you have no choice but to... |
| Brian Griffin | BRIAN: There's a Comfort Inn. |
| Stewie Griffin | STEWIE: Really? |
| Brian Griffin | Yeah. Good luck for us, huh? |
| Stewie Griffin | STEWIE: You know, once you feng shui the organs, it's kind of cozy. |
| [Loud heavy metal music] |
| Lois Griffin | Isn't this exciting? |
| Man | Anyone got a light? Thanks. |
| Lois Griffin | Peter, look, there's Dave and Dottie, the nudists. |
| Dave | Well, hey there, Griffins! |
| Lois Griffin | Dave, Dottie, what a pleasant surprise! |
| Dottie | Don't tell me you're KISS freaks, too? |
| Peter Griffin | KISS army soldier since 1977. How about you? |
| Dave | '76. I don't think anyone knows more about KISS than I do. |
| Peter Griffin | I'm sorry. What was that? |
| Lois Griffin | It's not important. |
| Peter Griffin | Let him answer, Lois! |
| Dave | I said, no one knows more about KISS than I do. |
| Dottie | Fellows, please keep it civil. |
| Peter Griffin | I'm not sure I like the tone of your voice. |
| Dave | Throw down, if that's what you want. |
| Peter Griffin | Gene Simmons' special-effects mentor? |
| Dave | Amazo the Magician. Paul Stanley's high school? |
| Peter Griffin | New York School of Music. Paul and Gene's band before KISS? |
| Dave | Wicked Lester. |
| Dave | Year KISS appeared on Jim Nabor's Halloween? |
| Peter Griffin | Trick question. It was Paul Lynde. And it was 1975. |
| Peter Griffin | Recite the ad that brought Peter Criss to Paul and Gene's attention. |
| Peter & Dave | "Drummer willing to do anything." |
| Peter & Dave | Rolling Stone, October, 1972. |
| Dave | Exemplary. |
| Peter Griffin | Rock 'n' roll! |
| Brian Griffin | How in the hell are we gonna get out of here? |
| Stewie Griffin | Are you going to finish your red paste? |
| Brian Griffin | No. |
| Stewie Griffin | What about your sweet crusty thing? |
| Brian Griffin | No, you can have it. |
| Father | MAN: No more balloon for you. |
| Father | I'm sick of you tooling around the village in it, honking at the girls blasting your 1980s American rock music that we got here last week. |
| Son | But, Father... |
| Father | Go to your palace! |
| Brian Griffin | Are you thinking what I'm thinking? |
| Stewie Griffin | Yes. |
| Stewie Griffin | Just wait until they have to suffer through Jesus Jones. |
| Stewie Griffin | [Makes a disgusted sound] |
| Brian Griffin | Not that, the balloon! |
| Stewie Griffin | Oh, yes. The balloon. Let's take it. |
| Brian Griffin | Wow! I didn't know it really looked like that. |
| Stewie Griffin | Neither did I. |
| Stewie Griffin | Such lovely printing, too. |
| Peter Griffin | Lois. Here comes the best part. |
| Lois Griffin | "And have a wonderful time" |
| [Band stops playing] |
| Lois Griffin | Is that it? No, no. |
| Lois Griffin | "And something, something all day" Right? |
| Gene Simmons | Oh, man! I've lost all faith in mankind. |
| Kiss Member | Music is dead to me now. |
| Kiss Member | Hey, now's our chance! |
| Kiss Member | Let's do it! |
| Stewie Griffin | I say! Where the hell are we? |
| Cardinal | Pope! Pope! |
| Cardinal | CARDINAL: Get up and put on your hat. |
| Pope | POPE: It's a stupid hat! |
| Cardinal | Pope! |
| Pope | All right, okay. God! |
| Cardinal | Pope, the floor is not a hamper! |
| Pope | Man! |
| Cardinal | Good. Now it's time to go on the balcony and address the people. |
| Pope | [Speaking Latin] |
| Pope | [Pope screaming] |
| Brian Griffin | We've got to find the American Embassy. They'll help us get home. |
| Stewie Griffin | Home? I have no intention of returning to that disgusting hovel with that intolerable woman, that fat slob, and that insufferable dog. |
| Stewie Griffin | You're right here, aren't you? I stand by it. My future is with Jolly Farm. |
| Brian Griffin | You really think that, don't you? |
| Stewie Griffin | I know it. |
| Brian Griffin | We've got three days until Peter and Lois get back from their KISS concerts. |
| Brian Griffin | Let's go to Jolly Farm. |
| Stewie Griffin | Yeah, now you're talking! |
| Pope | You make the Pope look like a fool! |
| Pope | God will make you pay. Smite them! |
| Pope | He's cooking something up. |
| [Train whistle] |
| Stewie Griffin | I say! Brian, look. Three rows down. |
| Brian Griffin | What? |
| Stewie Griffin | Is that Tom Bosley? |
| Brian Griffin | What would Tom Bosley be doing on a train in Switzerland? |
| Stewie Griffin | I'm almost certain. Tom! |
| Stewie Griffin | Did he look? |
| Brian Griffin | I don't know. |
| Stewie Griffin | If I yell, you have to watch. Tom Bosley! |
| Brian Griffin | No, it's not him. |
| Tour Guide | Besides its beautiful historic architecture Munich was the home of many great writers such as Thomas Mann. |
| Tour Guide | You will find more on Germany's contribution to art in the pamphlets we've provided. |
| Brian Griffin | About your pamphlet I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. |
| Brian Griffin | There's just a big gap. |
| Tour Guide | Everyone was on vacation! |
| Tour Guide | On your left is Munich's first city hall erected in 15... |
| Brian Griffin | Wait, wait. What are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and... |
| Tour Guide | We were invited! Punch was served! Check with Poland! |
| Brian Griffin | You can't just ignore those years. |
| Brian Griffin | Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany. |
| Tour Guide | Nope. Nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen. |
| Brian Griffin | A Dairy Queen? That's preposterous. |
| Tour Guide | I will hear no more insinuations about the German people! |
| Tour Guide | Nothing bad happened! |
| Tour Guide | [Yelling in German] |
| Brian Griffin | Is that a beer hall? |
| Tour Guide | Oh, yes. Munich is renowned for its historic beer halls. |
| Lois Griffin | Why is everybody glaring at us? |
| Peter Griffin | Why, Lois? I'll tell you why. |
| Peter Griffin | Your faux pas last night at the concert was so upsetting I called a university professor to tell me what phrase to use to describe it. |
| Professor | Use "faux pas." |
| Peter Griffin | Thanks, professor. |
| Peter Griffin | You've been living a lie all these years. |
| Peter Griffin | You represented yourself as a KISS fan. And why? To make me look foolish! |
| Lois Griffin | No. To make you happy. |
| Lois Griffin | I wanted to share in all aspects of your life, Peter. |
| Lois Griffin | But I just was never that big a KISS fan. |
| Peter Griffin | I should've guessed that when you were willing to dress up as Peter Criss. |
| Peter Griffin | No one wants to be Peter Criss, Lois! Not even Peter Criss! |
| Lois Griffin | I guess I'm just not as cool as you thought I was. |
| Peter Griffin | I guess not. |
| Brian Griffin | BRIAN: I'm exhausted. Come on. Let's get a coffee. |
| Stewie Griffin | The smoke is so acrid. |
| Stewie Griffin | A man can hardly breathe in here. |
| Pot Head | You should get some hash, man. You can't go wrong. |
| Stewie Griffin | Not true. Ground meat can go very wrong for me very quickly. |
| Stewie Griffin | Everyone in this room will suffer the consequences! |
| Pot Head | You are out there, man, in the ether. |
| Stewie Griffin | I'd love to further pursue our palaver but I am not fluent in "freak up"! |
| Stewie Griffin | So, I'm just gonna turn back over here, back towards my table. |
| Brian Griffin | Say, are you hungry? |
| Stewie Griffin | I wasn't when I came in. But isn't that so funny? I'm getting there. |
| Brian Griffin | Yeah. Same here. |
| Stewie Griffin | I think the only reason we die is... |
| Brian Griffin | Dude, I know what you're gonna say. And I am so completely... |
| Stewie Griffin | Wait, wait, wait! |
| Stewie Griffin | The only reason we die is because we accept it as an inevitability. |
| Brian Griffin | Do you think I'll ever find the right woman? |
| Stewie Griffin | Oh, God! Yes, man! Come on! Dude, you're great! |
| Lois Griffin | Peter, are you ever gonna forgive me? |
| Peter Griffin | Lois, I am obligated to keep loving you, so I will take my rage out on my own body. |
| Peter Griffin | Let's go to Denny's. |
| Peter Griffin | Oh, man! I don't believe it! KISS is here! |
| Peter Griffin | We don't deserve to be under the same roof with them. Let's go. |
| Lois Griffin | All right. I guess I could fix us something when we... |
| Lois Griffin | Chaim? |
| Gene Simmons | Lois! |
| Peter Griffin | Do not address KISS unless they address you first! |
| Lois Griffin | Oh, my God! Chaim Witz? It is you. |
| Gene Simmons | Which one do you want me to sign? Left or right? |
| Lois Griffin | No, no, no. It's Lois. Lois Pewterschmidt. |
| Lois Griffin | I knew you before you changed your name. |
| Gene Simmons | Lois! I don't believe it. It's been ages. |
| Gene Simmons | Guys, this is the girl I told you about. I knew her before we formed KISS. |
| Gene Simmons | "Loose" Lois! |
| Kiss Member | Cool! "Loose" Lois! |
| Kiss Member | The legend herself. |
| Kiss Member | My Grand Slam was supposed to be with sausage. |
| Lois Griffin | I never realized you were Gene Simmons the rock star! |
| Gene Simmons | You look great, Lois. Anyone nailing you now? |
| Lois Griffin | Yes. My husband nails me. This is him. Peter. |
| Peter Griffin | You are gods! |
| Gene Simmons | Yeah, thanks. We're recording some tracks in Boston next month. |
| Gene Simmons | You should come on by. |
| Lois Griffin | We'd love that, Chaim... I mean Gene, you big rock star. |
| Lois Griffin | Wow! Such a small world. |
| Lois Griffin | He was a nice boy. And he's still nice. |
| Peter Griffin | Listen, Lois, what I said before... |
| Peter Griffin | I've never been more wrong in my life. |
| Peter Griffin | You are the coolest girl in the world! |
| Peter Griffin | My wife did KISS! |
| Lois Griffin | And J. Geils. |
| Peter Griffin | What? |
| Lois Griffin | Nothing. |
| Stewie Griffin | There it is! |
| Stewie Griffin | The BBC! |
| Stewie Griffin | This is it. I'll say good-bye to you now. |
| Brian Griffin | Have a good life, Stewie. |
| Stewie Griffin | I shall! |
| Stewie Griffin | I meant to ask you did you find out what the button on my bureau was from? |
| Brian Griffin | Oh, yeah. Chris' denim jacket. |
| Stewie Griffin | I like that jacket. It looks good on him. |
| Stewie Griffin | Okay, then. So, we'll keep in touch? |
| Brian Griffin | Sure. |
| Stewie Griffin | I have your address. See ya! |
| Stewie Griffin | There's Happy Hill! |
| Stewie Griffin | What the deuce? |
| Stewie Griffin | Pengrove! Pengrove Pig! |
| Stewie Griffin | Pengrove, I've come to live on Jolly Farm! Oh, my! The magic tome. |
| Stewie Griffin | But it's cardboard. And there are no words. There are just... |
| Stewie Griffin | What is it you've drawn here? |
| Pengrove Pig | That's Oswald Owl slamming Mother Maggie in one of them Chinese baskets. |
| Pengrove Pig | Dead brill, eh? |
| Stewie Griffin | Mother Maggie! Thank God! Something's terribly wrong. |
| Mother Maggie | Whose stinky brat is this? |
| Stewie Griffin | What? That's not your voice. |
| Stewie Griffin | Your voice is lyrical, like the strum of a lute. |
| Mother Maggie | Piss off, you grotty little wanker! |
| Stewie Griffin | It's a fake. It's not real. |
| Brian Griffin | I thought it'd be best for you to find out on your own. |
| Stewie Griffin | I feel like such a fool. Don't even look at me! |
| Brian Griffin | Hey, come on. |
| Brian Griffin | You want to get some ice cream? That'd make you feel better, right? |
| Brian Griffin | You want to get some McDonald's? |
| Brian Griffin | Do you want to take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes? |
| Brian Griffin | Okay. Let's go take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes. |
| Meg Griffin | Jolly Farm is on, Stewie. Don't you want to watch? |
| Stewie Griffin | The Stewie who loved Jolly Farm is dead. |
| Stewie Griffin | Meet the Stewie who loves funky fruit hats! |
| [Humming tropical music] |
| Meg Griffin | Turn it up! Mom and Dad are on! |
| Moderator | We're back with more KISS Forum. I'm with the Griffins. |
| Moderator | They got something really exciting to share. |
| Peter Griffin | Yeah. My wife here did KISS. |
| Moderator | Get out of here! |
| Peter Griffin | Hand to God. |
| Moderator | Peter! How does that make you feel? |
| Peter Griffin | I feel like I've done KISS, too, Donny. And it feels good. |
| Moderator | Lois, you got any tips for the young girls in the audience tonight? |
| Lois Griffin | I guess the best advice I can give is that you never know who's gonna grow up to be famous. |
| Lois Griffin | So, just make yourself available. |
| Moderator | Cool. Cool. That's our show for tonight. |
| Moderator | Now stay tuned for Battlestar Galactica Forum. |
| Moderator | Welcome to Battlestar Galactica Forum. |
| [Theme music] |