| Stewie Griffin | Blasted matriarch! |
| Stewie Griffin | She has failed once again to replenish this frigid box with potations. |
| Stewie Griffin | I shall give her a piece of my mind! |
| Stewie Griffin | Damn it! |
| Stewie Griffin | Now look here, you... Oh, my God! |
| [Dramatic instrumental music] |
| Lois Griffin | Now you shouldn't be frightened, Stewie. |
| Lois Griffin | What you saw was actually a very beautiful thing. |
| Stewie Griffin | Evidently, madam, you and I differ greatly in our conception of beauty. |
| Stewie Griffin | What I just witnessed was ghastlier than a thousand ghouls! |
| Lois Griffin | Stewie, mommies and daddies like to hug each other that way. |
| Lois Griffin | In fact, sweetie, that's sort of how you were created. |
| Stewie Griffin | That is a vile and odious lie! |
| Stewie Griffin | How dare you fill my head with such loathsome propaganda? |
| Stewie Griffin | Get out, you horrid woman! |
| Lois Griffin | Okay, honey. I'll go get your teddy bear. |
| Stewie Griffin | [moaning] |
| Brian Griffin | Good Lord. You saw them together, didn't you? |
| Brian Griffin | You know the tub where you take your little baths? |
| Brian Griffin | They've done it there, too. |
| Stewie Griffin | [Exclaiming] |
| Lois Griffin | [Singing] "It seems today that all you see |
| Lois Griffin | "is violence in movies and sex on TV |
| Peter Griffin | "But where are those good, old-fashioned values |
| Peter Griffin | "on which we used to rely? |
| All | "Lucky there's a family guy |
| All | "Lucky there's a man who'll positively tell you |
| All | "all the things that make us |
| Stewie Griffin | "laugh 'n' cry |
| All | "He's a family guy" |
| Scout Leader | What in the name of our Christian God? You're out of the semicircle! |
| Scout Leader | All Scouts have to sit in the semicircle! |
| Chris Griffin | Why? |
| Scout Leader | Why? Saunders, tell him why! |
| Saunders | Because it's Rule 142-B! |
| Scout Leader | Because it's Rule 142-B. |
| Scout Leader | Good job, Scout. Now drop and give me 20! |
| Saunders | Thank you, sir! |
| Scout Leader | Ladies, this Saturday at 0800 there will be a soapbox derby as a reward for all your obedience. |
| [Scouts barking] |
| [Cheery TV theme music] |
| ? | Mom, Dad, I really like Potsie. |
| Mother Cunningham | Why not, dear? Potsie's a very nice boy. |
| ? | No, Mom. I mean, I really like Potsie. |
| Father Cunningham | We heard you the first time. |
| Father Cunningham | You have a homosexual attraction to Potsie. |
| Brian Griffin | Anything on that remote lower than mute? |
| Peter Griffin | I got a surprise for you, Chris. |
| Peter Griffin | It'll have to wait. This is where the Fonz goes... |
| Peter Griffin | Eyyyyyyy! |
| Fonz | Eyyyyyyy! |
| Peter Griffin | [Laughing] |
| Peter Griffin | Take that, 1950s society! Okay, let's go. |
| Peter Griffin | Chris, this is the speed machine that's gonna win you the soapbox derby. |
| Chris Griffin | But, Dad, I was supposed to build it myself. It's a rule. |
| Peter Griffin | Come on. Rules were made to be broken. |
| Peter Griffin | [grunts] |
| Peter Griffin | Here, let me show you the turbo booster. |
| Chris Griffin | Dad, what would you say if I told you I didn't want to be in the Scouts? |
| Peter Griffin | I'd say come again? And then I'd laugh because I said "come." |
| Peter Griffin | But thank God that's not the case. You're a Scout. |
| Peter Griffin | And you know what that means? That means I love you. |
| Chris Griffin | Meg? |
| Meg Griffin | Chris, get out of here! You're not allowed in my room. |
| Chris Griffin | I thought that was just when you were asleep. |
| Meg Griffin | What do you want? |
| Chris Griffin | I don't want to be in the Scouts anymore. I just want to draw. |
| Chris Griffin | I was kinda hoping you could tell Dad. But try and open with a joke. |
| Meg Griffin | Tell him yourself. |
| Chris Griffin | I can't. I don't want to disappoint him again. |
| Chris Griffin | You remember when he tried to sneak me into the County Fair? |
| Peter Griffin | One, please. |
| Chris Griffin | [sneezes] |
| Ticket Salesman | Wait a second! Your ass just sneezed! And horses can't talk! No! |
| Ticket Salesman | Nothing about this adds up at all! |
| Meg Griffin | Okay, look. Dad is really easy. All you have to do is sit on his lap give him a big kiss on the cheek, look him right in the eye, and he's butter. |
| Peter Griffin | What the hell? |
| Chris Griffin | Dad, the Scouts are no fun. And I... Wait a minute. [kisses Peter] |
| Peter Griffin | Chris, I am going to stand up, walk out of this room and we will never speak of this again. [walks out of room] |
| Chris Griffin | [Moans] |
| [Exciting instrumental music] |
| Pops | Speed, you should not race! Ha-ha! |
| Pops | The Mach 5 is not ready! Ha-ha! |
| Speed Racer | But Pops, I must race! Ha-ha! |
| Pops | Very well. But I am not really your father! Ha-ha! |
| Speed Racer | [Exclaiming] |
| [Crowd cheering] |
| Scout Leader | Okay girls, get ready... |
| [Scouts making revving sounds] |
| Scout Leader | ...get set... |
| Peter Griffin | [Stammering] Please God, I don't ask you for much. |
| Peter Griffin | But let my boy win this race. |
| Scout Leader | Do not go until I wave my flag. I can't stress that enough. |
| Scout Leader | I'll wave it once just to show you how it looks. |
| Chris Griffin | Look out! |
| Scout Leader | Griffin is disqualified! |
| Scout Leader | [Leader grunting] |
| Scout Leader | Your boy is out of the Scouts! |
| Peter Griffin | Who died and made you President Nixon? |
| Scout Leader | Look, it's been two years! |
| Scout Leader | Your idiot son hasn't earned a single merit badge. |
| Scout Leader | If you'll excuse me, I've got to administer some spankings. |
| Peter Griffin | Come on. Give him a little more time. |
| Scout Leader | All right! You've got three days to earn a badge! |
| Peter Griffin | Three days! That's tomorrow! We gotta get going! |
| [Cheery instrumental music] |
| Lois Griffin | Stewie, look what Mommy made for dessert. |
| Stewie Griffin | Jell-O. How exotic! I feel like I'm on the deck of the QE II. |
| Peter Griffin | Me and Chris will take ours to go. |
| Peter Griffin | We've only got one more night to get that badge. |
| Chris Griffin | Dad, maybe we should just give up. I mean, we tried everything. |
| Chris Griffin | We almost got that one for insect study. |
| Peter Griffin | Look, Chris. It's a whole family of WASPs. |
| WASP Father | My, Margaret. What a sub-par ham. |
| WASP Mother | Perhaps I can't bake a ham. |
| WASP Mother | But what I can cook up is a little grace and civility at the table. |
| WASP Father | Patty, did you know that your mother is a whore? |
| Lois Griffin | I think it's great that you and Chris've been spending so much time together. |
| Lois Griffin | But he's the one who should be earning that badge. |
| Peter Griffin | Where do you get off telling me how to raise my son? |
| Peter Griffin | Right. Okay. We'll try it your way, honey. |
| Peter Griffin | [Laughing nervously] |
| Peter Griffin | There's my Scout! |
| Chris Griffin | Not anymore, Dad. I'm out. |
| Chris Griffin | They made me turn in my uniform and everything. |
| Peter Griffin | What? Those bastards! Don't you worry. I'll get you back in! |
| Chris Griffin | It's okay, Dad. I'm not really... |
| Peter Griffin | Don't take no for an answer, Chris. You're a Griffin. |
| Peter Griffin | And a Griffin never knows when to stop. |
| Peter Griffin | Clear! |
| Peter Griffin | Clear! |
| Victim | [Gasping] |
| Victim | You saved my life, Doctor! |
| Peter Griffin | Clear! |
| Peter Griffin | I'm calling that troop leader. We're going over his head. |
| Peter Griffin | Straight to the Scout head office in New York. |
| Peter Griffin | Pack your bags, you guys! The Griffins are hitting the Big Apple! |
| Speed Racer | Ha-ha! Did you hear? The Griffins are going to New York! |
| Pops | This does not affect us at all. Ha-ha! |
| Meg Griffin | I can't believe we're going to New York. |
| Chris Griffin | Dad, you don't really have to do this. |
| Peter Griffin | Yes, I do. No boy of mine is gonna get booted out of the Scouts. |
| Chris Griffin | [Chris moans] |
| Stewie Griffin | What the hell do you think you're doing? |
| Lois Griffin | Strapping you in, honey, so you don't get hurt. |
| Stewie Griffin | So I don't get hurt. |
| Stewie Griffin | That's the best you can do, you dull-witted termagant? |
| Lois Griffin | I brought your Raffi tape. |
| Stewie Griffin | Play Wheels on the Bus and get the hell out of my sight. |
| Meg Griffin | Where's Brian? |
| Peter Griffin | Aren't you coming? |
| Brian Griffin | No, thanks. I've been to New York. |
| Brian Griffin | It's like Prague sans the whimsy. |
| Lois Griffin | Will you be okay by yourself? |
| Brian Griffin | I think I'll manage. |
| Peter Griffin | All right, you guys. We're off! |
| Peter Griffin | Those Scouts are never gonna know what hit them. |
| Peter Griffin | [backs into neighbor's car] And neither will that guy. |
| [Tires squealing] |
| [Adventurous instrumental music] |
| Lois Griffin | Okay. I'm thinking of a movie. |
| Meg Griffin | Is it an action movie? |
| Lois Griffin | No. |
| Chris Griffin | Is it a musical? |
| Lois Griffin | No. |
| Peter Griffin | Is it a good movie? |
| Lois Griffin | It has its moments. |
| Peter Griffin | Cool Runnings. |
| Lois Griffin | Right! |
| [Music on TV] |
| TV | After years of study, I've discovered the secret to longer life in canines. |
| TV | And that secret is... |
| Narrator | We interrupt this program for some episodes of One Day at a Time. |
| Miss Romano | Damn it, Julie. I'm a single mother doing the best damn job she knows how! |
| Miss Romano | And damn it, Schneider! |
| Miss Romano | I asked you to fix that damn sink two days ago! |
| Schneider | I'll fix your sink, Miss Romano. |
| Schneider | And by that I mean I'll have sex with you. |
| Schneider | And by that, I mean I'll fix your sink. |
| Schneider | And by "sink, " I mean your reproductive organ. |
| [Laughter from TV audience] |
| Schneider | And by "reproductive organ, " I mean the thing between your knees. |
| Schneider | And by "the thing between your knees, " I... |
| Schneider | I guess that one's kind of self-explanatory. |
| Brian Griffin | [Hollers] |
| Lois Griffin | Peter, we're lost. |
| Lois Griffin | Would you please ask for directions? |
| Peter Griffin | We are not lost. And even if we were I can't ask a human being for directions. |
| Lois Griffin | Why not? |
| Peter Griffin | Because I'm a man. |
| Peter Griffin | Haven't you ever seen a stand-up comedian, Lois? |
| Chris Griffin | Dad, maybe we should go home. |
| Peter Griffin | No way. We came to get you back into the Scouts. |
| Peter Griffin | And that's exactly what we're gonna do. |
| Peter Griffin | [Gurgling] |
| Lois Griffin | What was that? |
| Peter Griffin | Nothing. |
| Peter Griffin | [Gurgling] |
| Lois Griffin | Peter, the car is making funny noises. |
| Peter Griffin | You're wrong again, Lois. That wasn't the car. |
| Peter Griffin | Although you were right about that prune smoothie. |
| Lois Griffin | Are you okay? |
| Peter Griffin | I'll be fine. I just have to concentrate on driving. |
| [Alarming instrumental music] |
| Peter Griffin | [sees "Dump, next right" sign][Groaning] |
| Peter Griffin | [Gurgling][sees "Wide Load" sign] |
| Peter Griffin | [sees "Furniture Sale: All stools must go!" sign][Peter groans] |
| Peter Griffin | [sees "I love my Shih Tzu" sign][Peter groans] |
| Peter Griffin | [sees "Bobs House of Feces" sign] Come on! That one's not even real! |
| Peter Griffin | God! We gotta stop! |
| [Car screeching] |
| Meg Griffin | Wow! An Indian casino! |
| Peter Griffin | Yeah. I gotta find me the stink lodge! |
| Peter Griffin | [Moaning] |
| [Thrilling instrumental music] |
| Peter Griffin | Come on, you guys. No time to lose! |
| Peter Griffin | Hold it. |
| Peter Griffin | Hold it! |
| Peter Griffin | Hold it! |
| Peter Griffin | [Moaning] |
| Robot Indian | Welcome to our casino, palefaces. |
| Robot Indian | Feel free to visit gift shop in lobby and restaurant on second floor. |
| Indian Robot 2 | Do you have reservations? |
| Indian Robot | Only about the veal! |
| Robots | [Laughing] |
| Peter Griffin | This is gonna be a photo finish, Lois! |
| Peter Griffin | [Moaning] |
| Lois Griffin | I'm gonna ask someone for directions. Meg, watch Stewie. |
| Lois Griffin | Excuse me. Can you tell me how to get to New York? |
| Indian | Sure. But what's your hurry, ma'am? |
| Indian | Don't you want to play first? |
| Lois Griffin | Thank you. But I really don't approve of gambling. |
| Indian | Technically it's not really gambling. |
| Indian | We're trying to rebuild our shattered culture after you raped our land and defiled our women. |
| Lois Griffin | As long as you're not using it for firewater. |
| Carrot Top | Look, a bow tie. |
| Carrot Top | [Singing] |
| Carrot Top | I'm David Bowie. |
| Carrot Top | Bo Derek! |
| Stewie Griffin | Very funny! Now tell the one that doesn't suck! |
| [Laughter and applause] |
| Stewie Griffin | Thank you. Yes. And what's the deal with airline food? |
| Peter Griffin | Thanks, "Watches You Pee." |
| Peter Griffin | PETER: Where's your mother? |
| Chris Griffin | Over there. |
| Peter Griffin | I didn't know you knew how to play poker. |
| Lois Griffin | Yeah. |
| Peter Griffin | How you doing? |
| Lois Griffin | Yeah. |
| Peter Griffin | That's good, honey. Let's go. |
| Lois Griffin | Yeah. |
| Lois Griffin | It's funny. I never knew video poker could be so much fun. |
| Lois Griffin | You win a few hands and all those lights go off. |
| Lois Griffin | And you just feel so good inside. |
| Peter Griffin | Yeah, gambling is great. No question about it. |
| Lois Griffin | It felt so good. I kept putting my money in. |
| Lois Griffin | And before I knew it, I'd lost $40. I'm so embarrassed. |
| Peter Griffin | That's okay. As long as you learned your lesson. |
| Lois Griffin | I did, Peter, for a couple of minutes. Then... |
| Lois Griffin | This is so silly. I started playing again. |
| Peter Griffin | I could swear I parked here. |
| Lois Griffin | Yeah, you did. But here's the really silly thing, Peter. |
| Lois Griffin | I sort of bet our car. |
| Peter Griffin | [Exclaiming] |
| Peter Griffin | I won't panic. I need to go back in the casino and find a high roller who'll pay $1 million to sleep with my wife. |
| Lois Griffin | What? That's ridiculous! |
| Peter Griffin | These people took $24 for the island of Manhattan. |
| Peter Griffin | They have no idea what things are worth! |
| Meg Griffin | Nice going, Mom. |
| Meg Griffin | I finally get my driver's license and you lose the car to a poker machine. |
| Meg Griffin | How ironic. |
| Peter Griffin | Don't talk about your mother that way. She is not an iron. |
| Peter Griffin | We gotta figure out a way to get to New York and get Chris back into the Scouts. |
| Chris Griffin | But Dad... |
| Peter Griffin | I got it. I'll just get Brian to wire us some money. |
| [Phone ringing] |
| Brian Griffin | [Brian laughing] |
| Miss Romano | Damn it, Julie! I am not shacking up with my boyfriend. |
| Miss Romano | I am just going away for the weekend. |
| Schneider | Yeah. All the away. |
| [TV audience laughing] |
| [TV audience laughing] |
| Brian Griffin | [Hooting] |
| Brian Griffin | Damn, Schneider! What won't you say? |
| Peter Griffin | No answer at the house. You didn't bet that, too, did you? |
| Lois Griffin | I'm sorry, Peter. I feel so foolish. |
| Lois Griffin | It just seemed like such a good cause. |
| Lois Griffin | Everyone in the tribe gets a share in the casino's profits. |
| Peter Griffin | What did you just say? |
| Lois Griffin | "I'm sorry." |
| Peter Griffin | After that. |
| Lois Griffin | "I feel foolish." |
| Peter Griffin | After that. |
| Lois Griffin | "Casino's profits." |
| Peter Griffin | Before that. |
| Lois Griffin | "Everyone in the tribe." |
| Peter Griffin | The whole thing. |
| Lois Griffin | "Everyone in the tribe shares the profit?" |
| Peter Griffin | That's it! Let's go! |
| Lenny | I'm sorry to hear about your misfortune. |
| Lenny | But we're not allowed to return gambling losses. |
| Peter Griffin | I think you can make an exception in our case, Lenny. See, I'm an Indian, too. |
| Lenny | LENNY AND Excuse me? |
| Peter Griffin | You heard me. I'm a member of your tribe. |
| Peter Griffin | And that entitles me to a share of your wampum, kemosabe. |
| Lenny | Whoa. Wait a second. Not so fast. Tell me of your history, of your past. |
| Peter Griffin | I come from a long line of you people. |
| Peter Griffin | My great-grandfather's name was Jeep Grand Cherokee. |
| Peter Griffin | I mean, Chief Grand Cherokee. He was a rainmaker. |
| Indian Peter | [Native singing] |
| Indian Peter | [Singing] "I'm so happy doing the neutron dance |
| Indian Peter | "I'm just burning doing the neutron dance" |
| Peter Griffin | And he also killed a bunch of Krauts at Wounded Knee. |
| Peter Griffin | So are you gonna give me back my car, or what? |
| lenny | I have to confer with the council of the elders. You wait here. |
| Lois Griffin | Are you nuts, Peter? You'll never get away with this. |
| Peter Griffin | Why not? I've fooled people before. |
| Peter Griffin | You remember that time I pretended to be gay? |
| Peter Griffin | [watching "Caroline in the City"] |
| Lois Griffin | There is no way they're gonna believe you're an Indian. |
| Indian | He's an Indian. |
| Lenny | How do you know? |
| Indian | I can tell. |
| Lenny | You think everyone's an Indian. |
| Lenny | He could just be another moocher. |
| Frank | Maybe we can put him through a test. |
| Frank | Like a really impossible stunt to prove he's the real deal. |
| Lenny | Way to think outside the box, Frank. |
| Lenny | To prove you are truly a member of our tribe, you must go on a vision quest. |
| Lenny | Do you know what a vision quest is? |
| Peter Griffin | Of course I do. I'm an Indian. But why don't you explain it to my wife? |
| Lois Griffin | She's a little slow in the head. |
| Lenny | A vision quest is a sacred spiritual journey. |
| Lenny | Your husband must go out in the wilderness without food or water. |
| Frank | Or shoes. |
| Lenny | Yeah. Or shoes. |
| Lenny | He must remain there until he can communicate with nature. |
| Lenny | He must hear the wisdom of the rocks and trees. |
| Lenny | And then his guiding spirit must appear to him and reveal a great personal truth. |
| Lenny | And it's gotta be a real vision. |
| Lenny | We're Indians. We're gonna know if he's lying. |
| [Howling ominously] |
| Lenny | [Laughing] |
| Lenny | Sucker. |
| Lois Griffin | Peter, please don't do this. We can buy another car. |
| Lois Griffin | I'll give extra piano lessons on Sundays. |
| Peter Griffin | Come on. All I gotta do is have a spiritual vision. |
| Peter Griffin | I've had one before. |
| Peter Griffin | Oh, my God, Brian. There's a message in my Alpha Bits. |
| Peter Griffin | It says "Ooooo." |
| Brian Griffin | Peter, those are Cheerios. |
| Lenny | You must begin your journey now. |
| Meg Griffin | Now's your chance to be alone with Dad. |
| Chris Griffin | Are you nuts? I'm not attracted to Dad. |
| Meg Griffin | Tell him you don't want to be in Scouts. |
| Chris Griffin | Thanks, Meg. |
| Meg Griffin | Yipes. |
| Chris Griffin | Dad, can I come? |
| Peter Griffin | How about it, Lenny? |
| Lenny | What the hey? The more the merrier. |
| Lenny | Now get the hell out of here, you nut, and go have yourself a spiritual vision. |
| [Mysterious instrumental music] |
| Peter Griffin | Water! Thank God! |
| Chris Griffin | CHRIS: Dad, I'm hungry. Are we gonna die? |
| Peter Griffin | PETER: Of course not. |
| Peter Griffin | This isn't the first time I found my own food in the wild. |
| Little Red Riding Hood | [Girl humming] |
| Peter Griffin | [Peter shouting] |
| Little Red Riding Hood | [Girl screams] |
| Peter Griffin | [Laughing] |
| Peter Griffin | Dumb broad. |
| Peter Griffin | [Screaming] |
| [Wolf growling] |
| Lois Griffin | They've been gone for over six hours. |
| Lois Griffin | How long do these vision quests usually take? |
| Lenny | It varies. |
| Lenny | It depends on the person's age, and height, and sign. |
| Lois Griffin | You have no idea, do you? |
| Lenny | Of course I... No. |
| Lois Griffin | Why would you send my husband and son out into the wilderness without any food or supplies? |
| Lenny | Because we really like your car? |
| Lois Griffin | [Lois sighs] |
| Stewie Griffin | They're dead, you know. |
| [Wolves howling] |
| Peter Griffin | Must eat. Haven't snacked in hours. |
| Peter Griffin | Can't feel my eyes. |
| Peter Griffin | Wonder if club-footed midgets get justice in heaven. |
| Tree 1 | TREE 1: Hot enough for you? |
| Peter Griffin | What? |
| Tree 1 | I say, "Hot enough for you?" |
| Peter Griffin | Yeah. I guess. Oh, my God! I'm communicating with nature! |
| Peter Griffin | Tree, if one of you falls and there's no one around, do you make a noise? |
| Tree 2 | Are you kidding? Scott fell last week. |
| Tree 2 | He hasn't shut up about it since. |
| Scott | Sure. Stand there and bitch! |
| Scott | But would any of you take the time to help me? |
| Tree 3 | I'm playing the world's smallest violin, Scott. |
| Fonzie | Yo, Griffin! |
| Peter Griffin | The Fonz! |
| Fonzie | Eyyyyyy! |
| Peter Griffin | What are you doing here? |
| Peter Griffin | Shouldn't you be in the middle of a Tuscadero sandwich? |
| Fonzie | Yeah. But I'm your spiritual guide, see? |
| Fonzie | I want to lay a little personal truth on you. |
| Fonzie | Now, Mr. C was like a father to me. |
| Fonzie | And he always listened, you know? |
| Fonzie | And Griffin, right now, your son needs you to listen to him. Whoa! |
| Peter Griffin | Sure. Whatever you say. Fonzie? |
| Peter Griffin | There's something I always wanted to ask you. You were with a lot of girls. |
| Peter Griffin | Did you ever get a sexual disease? |
| Fonzie | Herpes twice. And the clap. |
| Fonzie | Eyyyyyy! |
| Chris Griffin | Dad? Can I talk to you? |
| Peter Griffin | Not now, son! |
| Peter Griffin | Sure. Go right ahead. |
| Chris Griffin | I don't want to be a Scout, Dad. I just don't have fun there. |
| Chris Griffin | I guess you're pretty disappointed in me. |
| Peter Griffin | Yeah! |
| Chris Griffin | Dad, this is what I really like to do. |
| Peter Griffin | What? You want to draw? |
| Peter Griffin | Son, why don't you just stick a knife in my heart? |
| Peter Griffin | I mean, so you drew this? |
| Chris Griffin | Yeah. I know they suck. |
| Peter Griffin | Not all of them. Some of these look pretty good. |
| Chris Griffin | Really? |
| Peter Griffin | Yeah! |
| Peter Griffin | I didn't know anyone in this family had any talent. |
| Peter Griffin | Except for that one thing your mother does. |
| Chris Griffin | You mean play the piano? |
| Peter Griffin | No. She... Yeah. |
| Peter Griffin | I probably don't say this often enough. |
| Peter Griffin | But I'm really proud of you, Chris. |
| Chris Griffin | Thanks, Dad. |
| Tree | [Singing with lighter] "And the cat's in the cradle with the silver spoon |
| Trees | "little boy blue and the man in the moon |
| Trees | "When you coming home, Dad? I don't know when |
| Trees | "But we'll get together then, son You know we'll have a..." |
| Trees | [catches fire] Oh, my God! |
| Trees | TREES: Fire! |
| Peter Griffin | Let's get out of here! |
| Tree | Todd, you stupid bastard! |
| Lois Griffin | Peter? Chris? Thank God. Are you okay? |
| Peter Griffin | Fantastic, Lois! I saw my guiding spirit. |
| Lenny | Whoa! Wait a second! You had a vision? |
| Peter Griffin | It was amazing! I spoke to the trees. And I saw the Fonz. |
| Lois Griffin | Really? What's the Fonz like? I bet he's stuck up. |
| Peter Griffin | A little. But thanks to him, me and Chris have never been closer. |
| Lenny | I want a spiritual vision, too! Man! |
| Lenny | I guess we've lost touch with our noble roots. |
| Lenny | I mean, sure this casino's brought our tribe money and prosperity. |
| Lenny | But what is the price of our souls? |
| Frank | $6 million a week. |
| Lenny | That sounds right. Take your crappy car back. |
| Lenny | Come on, boys. Let's go hit the buffet. |
| Peter Griffin | All right! We did it! Let's get the hell out of here. |
| Stewie Griffin | Stupid, greedy savages! |
| Lois Griffin | Stewie, that's a terrible thing to say. |
| Lois Griffin | This one particular tribe has lost their way. |
| Lois Griffin | But most Native Americans are proud hardworking people who are true to their spiritual heritage. |
| Lois Griffin | They are certainly not savages. [the more you know] |
| Stewie Griffin | That's funny, Mother. |
| Stewie Griffin | Just this morning you said they were lazy like the dirty Mexicans. Just kidding. |
| Stewie Griffin | The Mexicans are a clean and industrious people with a rich cultural heritage. [the more you know] |
| Meg Griffin | Yeah. Not like those dumb, gargantuan Swedes. |
| Meg Griffin | Actually, the Swedish people run the gamut from very short to tall. |
| Meg Griffin | And did you know that Sweden gave us the brilliant inventor, Alfred Nobel? [the more you know] |
| Peter Griffin | Yeah. Which is more than we ever got from those freeloading Canadians. |
| Peter Griffin | [background fades to black] Canada sucks. |
| [Theme music] |